Moving On..

I have eaten like shit since my triathlon and I really need to get a grip and buckle down. (eats jalepeno cheese bread for dinner)...

Work has been a real bitch this week. My 'ADD' has been acting up and I cant focus or perhaps I dont WANT to focus. Whatever the reason, its making work a real chore and thats no good. I also seem to have no real memory from the past week. I dont even think I could tell you what I did this last weekend. Oh, wait...I came home from the bay area. THat seems AGES ago. Its only Wed!

Random thoughts:

So, while I was home in the Bay I received a text at 139am. It was from Golf Guy. We hung out for a few weeks and he basically spent 4 nites straight at my house every week... then we had a misunderstanding and its been rocky ever since. We talked about hooking up a few months ago and then just being friends and it just got wierd and we eventually just stopped talking. This text said: "HEY".
I chalked it up to a drunk text. Hes done it before. I didnt see it until the morning and I texted back, "what? obviously a drunk text eh?".
Never heard a peep from him. what a dumbass. Moving on.

I havent been on the dating scene for approx.. 2.5 months. Im holding off joining again until after DC comes to visit. We shall see where that goes. We are really great friends and have wonderful conversations...from serious stuff to all out laughter-pee-your-pants convos. While I was at my father's house, he sent me a text that read, "You are the only thing in my life that has made any sense, so you have that going for you, which is nice"... he always has to put a funny twist on things.

I thought this was the sweetest sentiment; especially since we dont talk on a serious "romantic" note very often. i was actually sort of speechless by this comment. Which, i told him. We talk sometimes everyday and sometimes every few days... just depends on his work schedule and whats going on. Last night we were talking as he purchased his airline ticket to come to the PNW for Memorial Day weekend.
Hes arriving May 26-Wed and leaving the following Wed. This is irony. May 26-Wed was my wedding day in Negril Jamaica. My anniversary has always been bittersweet and this will be a good thing, i think. I joked that he will have to hold me while I cry a river of tears... LOL... odd. I NEVER WOULD have guessed that I would be standing in this place: Single and childless if you asked me on the day of my wedding. Wow. Surreal at times. At times, being married was such a long time ago. I really enjoyed being married and would definitely do it again if the right person came along. Unlike my love, who will never marry again. lol....

So, ive been pondering all of this. Loving a man deeply that gets me on a soulful deep level. Understands my intricate nature and still loves me despite my faults... a love that will never be anymore than what it is...sadly. Then there is DC. He is available but across the country and told me just the other day that there is something very endearing about me that captures him. He cant quite figure it out. We have only known each other a year and he doesnt know me by any means as My Love does... that raw connection. However,Ive been trying to figure out and sort of 'dreaming' about what might go down in Vancouver and while hes visiting me.

WIll we kiss? When and how will it happen? Does he want to be romantically involved? Maybe not. I tested this last night on the phone. I think I caught him off guard because I mentioned the guest bedroom and he sort of stuttered. Of course, he wont be sleeping in there, I doubt it anyhow. We slept in the same bed the entire time I was visiting him. ALmost like an old married couple. I do laugh though because I ponder these things... What would sex be like with him? I mean, we totallly have great chemistry on a mental level... I think he would probably make a great boy friend. I cant figure out how I feel about it all though. He did joke recently about not ruining my eggs on my Triathlon b'c we have to carry on the DC genes... haha... WOWA.

This weekend I have a friend coming in from the Bay Area that I have known for like 20 years almost. Shes flying up to visit friends and invited me to dinner with them Saturday nite. Im always up for meeting new peeps that live here... networking is always a great thing! It should be fun!

Tomorrow I am out on the pennisula for work all day. I will take my camera and work on some pics. My new Idea is cemetaries. Then Churches.

Well, its almost 8pm and I want to go watch the Hurt Locker. I heard it was great!