The Date

Oh Yes. Chris Chip. Chips Ahoy. Chris the Pitcher. Chris.

I realized I didnt write about my date with him on Saturday night. I guess I was a bit taken by my past following me around like a dark shadow.  So, details.

We were originally suppose to go out friday nite but in typical fashion, one of us ended up rescheduling. It was ME this time. We actually ended up talking on the phone for a bit and then decided that I would meet him downtown at the Owl n Thistle. I found this place sorta funny because it takes me back to my 20's and lots of drinking and making out with random people.  Back when life was simple. Well, MORE simple than now. I got there a bit before 8pm so I parked and sat in teh car for a bit...at least until I saw him walking up to the front. Im sort of a freak this way.  I hate going into bars alone. So, after I saw him enter I went inside. We havent seen each other in a few months..at least since before my Triathlon and so it would good to actually feel a bit relaxed. He gave me a big hug and engulfed me. He's 6'5 and im 5'8 so its like Yeti givin me a hug...but it always feels nice.  We found a table near the front of the stage and sat and bullshitted for awhile. Lots of flirting and the usual... lusting after my boobs. He has a 'thing' for them and its like this running joke now. Unfortunately for him, hes never seen them in all their glory... Im surprised hes hung out this long with me.

THe place started to get a bit crowded so we decided to go for a walk on the waterfront. It was a bit cold but luckily i prepared and so we ventured over and watched the Ferries come and go for awhile. He held my hand while we walked and its funny because Im so crazily attracted to him that I have a hard time holding eye contact. I had and sometimes still have that issue with Loveasauraus. its like that pure vulnerable state is really hard for me... It makes me feel like a little girl.  Our conversation was easy and hes actually pretty smart. He negotiates contracts for his company and has a law degree as well.  But he doesnt practice the law aspect really... He can be very quiet and almost secretive about his life and it drives me nuts. Why is it that I meet these guys that are so fucking secretive about EVERYTHING!?!? it makes me nuts. In fact, I actually have come to LOATHE the 'secret' mentality.  I dont have them...so I expect someone that Im dating or care about trust me enough to share stuff... With DC i get it. He cant talk about work becuase of his clearance crap...and that doesnt bother me because I know everything else...at least as much as I can in a year and a few months. He's pretty real with me about life. I like that. No, I LOVE THAT. Friendship and loving someone is about being open and honest not jsut about feelings but about stuff. 

So, with CHris I just take it for what its worth. We have an odd relationship that way. We go weeks without talking and then he will text out of the blue and then we will go meet for drinks and hang out for awhile...then we wont talk for awhile. Its wierd. 

ANyhow, It was romantic to walk along the waterfront at night with a man. Its something I really have missed. Im a romantic and i like to be treated like a woman. I want to be 'woo'd' and courted... I want a man to take the lead and let me feel safe allowing that aspect to transpire.  With Chris I seem to always touch him...even when walking close...perhaps its because he's such a big guy and I sort of disappear into him...  We ended up finding a bench in front of the water near the aquarium and we sat and talked...about life and random crap. We ended up kissing for awhile... the funny thing is... As attracted to him as I am... I dont have that explosive-,makes-me-melt feeling when he kisses me.  Its fine. Its fun. but he also gets very touchy and it sorta wierds me out. I dont even know why. Maybe it has something to do with our first date. I dont know but... there is something I just cant get past. A road block. Hes a super good looking guy that Im sure has had many women throw themselves at him yet he seems almost... inexperienced. huh.  its odd. Im too old for inexperienced. After Loveasauraus and I established a pretty amazing sexual relationship... its really hard for me to deal with that crap.

It was starting to rain a bit and getting late so we decided to head back to my car.  I gave him a lift to his place and we kissed a bit more. He wanted me to come up but thankfully, I have the Zen excuse and I just didnt want to go up to his place.... there is a ROADBLOCK in my head. we said good nite and I made it home around 2ish.... a lil' off sorts after all the thoughts all day about the ex and his new marriage... why I do that to myself, I have no idea.

anyhow. That was the latest date saga. Non Epic. Naturally.