Im struggling today

My heart hurts. My head hurts. I feel really lonely and part of that is knowing you arent around and in my world anymore. Im angry with you. Im angry with myself. For being so very hoenst with you about certain things. With thinking you could handle it because of our situation as it stands. Not really thinking about how you might take the info; not like its not fair though. You know, with these circumstances and all. I have had to deal with the knowledge since day one. You have always known when im dating but i dont think you were ever ready for me to say I might have met someone worthy of my time... a "threesome of sorts" you called it.
Funny, I thought we have been living that way for 2 years anyway... Perception is everything I suppose.

I cant even find it in me to want to swim. Im just straight up SAD, M.  guess I need to date again.... or call up one of the booty call boys to help this feeling disappate a lil' bit. The rejection is just mindblowing...

I dont know. its like I cant breathe at the thought of you never laughing with me again... or sharing our days with each other. Just being stupid together...

You are right. You arent that man.  You started out as that man but somewhere along the road, you changed the rules... the destination.  Or wait..perhaps it was you coming clean about the situation? oh yes... the TRUTH changed the path and destination.  Thats right!

I guess if the SHOE fits, eh?  Seems to...quite comfortably.  Good. im happy for you. 
Im happy that you are content in your decision to end this. Good Idea. Well played.
now you can focus on getting readjusted to those Shoes again. As wonderful as they are.

Ugh. why do I even bother?

probably becuase i love you.....

it will be the death of me.